I remember that I was quite spirited when I was very, very young (perhaps in the very start of my kinder garden years). I remember how excited I went home from my "class" and recited the stories I heard about Mozart and Beethoven. In Chinese what I said sounded like "no gained head- mei der tau" and " one hundred plus points - bei dau fang". My enthusiasm was met with laughs and challenges. I was quite crushed.......And I remember I was very sad when I was a child and adolescent . I did not develop a "self" really. When I realized/felt that I had no one to turn to was the starting point of my confusion and dismay. I "went along" as a daughter and sister of my family. But the emptiness, aches and anger was eating me alive inside. Some of the memories should not, but still occasionally haunt me. Now I say to myself, too bad that I was such a sensitive a kid. All those things could not have hurt me if I were not so sensitive....Unfortunately I was a lonely and sensitive kid.
Er Jie has always been kind and sweet: